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the one about the mouse

WARNING: this blog probably won't be enjoyed by extreme animal lovers (i.e. the kind of people who think even cockroaches should be humanely treated and gently shooed out the front door rather than squashed underfoot).

Ok, so about two weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch talking to my mother in Australia with my 18 month old son sitting next to me watching Tellytubbies and my 6 month old daughter rocking away in her little chair by my feet when all of a sudden I caught sight of a little grey tail scoot down the wall behind the TV.

"Argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I yelled in my mother's ear (sorry mum!) "Shit! I think I just saw a mouse!"

"A mouse? Are you sure?"

"Definitely a rodent!" Smallish. But rodent. Yucky. Dirty. Disease-carrying. Rodent.

I found it almost impossible to continue the conversation with my mother as I was too preoccupied on keeping an eye out for my unwelcome house guest and making sure he didn't make a move towards me and the kids. I said good bye to my mum and called my husband.

"Doron. You are not going to believe this, but we have a f%$#ing mouse in the house!"
"A what?"
"You know! Achbar sadeh! A field mouse!"
"Are you serious? How the hell did he get in the house?"
"I don't know!!!!!!!!!! But I am here with the kids and I have an effing bloody mouse, rat, rodent thing running around and I don't know what to do!"
"I'll look for him tonight and see if I can catch him. If not, we'll call someone."

I hung up the phone and stared at the wall opposite me. Not only was the mouse near me and the kids, he ran right next to my son's toy box - surely a perfect hidey hole for a little mouse. I was too scared to touch anything (I know - I'm such a wuss) and I didn't want the kids to sense my fear, so we just kind of did other stuff and waited for Doron to get home from work. Thankfully our little friend didn't show himself again that afternoon.

After we put the kids to bed, Doron poked around the corner of the living room I had seen him, but he seemed to have moved on. We left the balcony door open a little that night hoping he would run out during the night.

No such luck. Sighting #2 happened a couple of days later, on a Friday morning when we were all in the living room and Mr Mousey decided to make a dash from under the sofa (we were sitting on it ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!) back to the direction of my son's toy box.

Doron got up and started to look for him. He jiggled the toy box and a couple of minutes later, the mouse ran out and ran across the carpet right in front of me and back under the sofa. Doron and I screamed and the children spontaneously burst into tears. Shit!

I took the kids into another room so that Doron could have a go at catching the mouse but after 2o minutes or so, he declared defeat having lost all sight of the little bugger.

We decided to call an exterminator who said he could drop by before Shabbat. Great, we thought! We're going to deal with this problem properly now!

The exterminator, a man called Amos from a nearby town, arrived a couple of hours later and confirmed we had a mouse (bloody genius eh?) He found several tell-tale mouse droppings around our kitchen and laid several sticky traps for him. He told us that most likely that night after we went to bed, the mouse would come out, be attracted to the traps and he'd be caught by the morning.

"I'll drop by again on Sunday and pick up the mouse and the traps for you." he said with total confidence.

"How much do we owe you?"

"350 shekels"

We had to stop our jaws from dropping. 350 shekels to come over and spend 10 minutes laying some traps that cost all of 20 sheks at the local hardware store?

Well Amos. Your traps didn't work. Mr Mousey laughs at your silly traps. Sunday came and went and Mr Mousey is king of the castle and is making our lives hell. We kept the door to Liev's room closed all the time, after I discovered mouse droppings in HIS COT!!!!!!!!

Then a couple of nights later, Doron found droppings in Amalia's cot!!!!!!!!!!! They were not there when I put her to bed the night before (she is in our room) and so that means (sorry to creep you out people) that he was in her bed while she was sleeping. The mere thought of it makes me want to vomit.

We could hear him munching away on my books in the living room and we saw him run down the back of the pipes of the kitchen sink. He was even getting into my wardrobe and eating the paper that was stuffed in the toes of my expensive Kenneth Cole high-heeled shoes. Bastard. THIS WAS WAR!

We'd also bought our own traps. More of the sticky kind (Mr Mousey was somehow able to remove the bamba* from the trap and not get caught on it! How???) and the other kind of trap that he has to walk into to get the food which triggers the door to shut on him (but doesn't hurt him) He avoided those ones and decided to stick to my abundant collection of fiction instead.

(*Bamba is a popular peanut snack here in Israel and apparently mice are very fond of it as well)

And now we arrive at last night. I was eating some dinner and watching telly and Doron was out taking a walk. All of a sudden I heard the little bugger munching away in the corner of the room, somewhere inside my bookcase. He was louder than usual, as if he were saying to us, "Munch, munch, munch. You can't catch me you pathetic humans. I will eat my way from
Jane Austen to Markus Zusak and then I will feast on your babies' fingers! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Something just snapped in me. Mouse. This is your last night on earth. Enjoy the time you have left my friend.

When Doron came home a few minutes later, I told him that the mouse was in the bookcase somewhere. With the kids all tucked up (and safe!) in bed, we decided to engage OPERATION MOUSE. We slowly took the books off the shelves and built a wall from one corner of the wall to the other, effectively cornering him in a small confined space. Sure, he would be able to climb over the books eventually, but we were counting in him being a little bamboozled initially and that would give Doron time to give him the old one-two with his shoe (I warned you that animal lovers would not like this blog).

About half an hour later, all the books were on the floor and Doron finally caught sight of him - eating a BLOODY PIECE OF BAMBA behind the bookcase! Doron moved the bookcase and the mouse then took refuge behind the CD tower. With almost nowhere left for the bugger to go, we were pretty confident that we were going to catch him. Suddenly he darted out from behind the CD tower and tried to make a run for it.

"There he is!" I yelled. "Get him!"
After the initial shock, Doron got his bearings and ran towards the mouse, stomping on him in one clear and very forceful motion. He didn't even have time to feel it I am sure. Gone instantaneously. I hope that makes the animal lovers feel a bit better.

And that was it. No more terrorist mouse in our home. We now had one very dead, very squashed mouse on our living room floor that needed to be scraped up and the floor cleaned and disinfected. Sorry, is this too much detail?

We sat there, Doron and I, staring at Dead Mr Mousey, suddenly looking so tiny and innocuous and we couldn't believe how something so small had caused us so much trouble and how frought with stress we had been. Following our recent trip to Massada, Doron looked at me and said that somehow this scene reminded him of the story of Massada.

"How? I asked. "So is the mouse a Maccabee or a Roman?"
The jury is still out on that one.

Doron took the mouse outside and threw him in the dumpster and I was left to clean up (the least I could do considering Doron performed the actual dreaded deed) and then I had the joyous task of putting ALL my books back (about 8 packing boxes worth) and because I am totally anal, I had to put them back in order didn't I?

So here's a photo of our fortress of books and if you look carefully, you'll spot Mr Mousey (deceased) but don't worry - it's not gory or anything.

RIP Mr Mousey

So, needless to say we slept very soundly last night knowing we and our children were safe from any unwelcome nocturnal visits.

Doron is now considering a career change, so please drop us a line or give us a call if you want him to take care of any unwelcome visitors. We'll get the job done. I guarantee you.






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  • Blogger Doctor Booba says so:
    11:36 pm  

    I have a few comments!
    1 Are you sure there is only one mouse?
    2 You're lucky it's a mouse and not big brother rat
    3 If you guys are so freaked out by a mouse, why not get a cat? top

  • Blogger Tammy Reznik says so:
    1:18 am  

    you had me on the edge of my seat.. top

  • Blogger Becky says so:
    8:24 am  

    Yack. Animal lover, but no mercy for little rodents who would try to eat my children. Good for Doron!! top

  • Blogger Alissa says so:
    11:16 am  

    EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW.

    I want to know where the mouse came from, considering all the cats we have around here.

    Israeli mice are obviously tougher and smarter than New Jersey mice. When I lived there, I had two mice (to go along with my two cats!), but I caught them fairly easily with cheese and a shoe box. Well, fairly easily once I locked the cats out of the room so they'd stop playing with the mice.

    Still... EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW top

  • Blogger alizaverid says so:
    8:34 pm  

    This is so funny, we currently do not have a small mouse in our offie but a giant rat! He is like 8 kilos. I have named him Harry and Harry is dirty gross pain in the ass. We can't seem to get rid of him and while the ireah said they should come and get him so far nothing. The funniest part is that we have cats in the ceiling of the office. You would think that would take care of it but no....I think they are afarid of Harry.
    Happy you guys got rid of your unwanted friend. top

All about Solid Gold Dancing in the Holy Land

I started this blog in April 2006 essentially on a whim because I was bored one day (big mistake). As time went on and the countdown to my return to Israel really began, the blog began to take shape, form and meaning (some of the time). I realise that it has become an outlet for my many varied and often jumbled emotions, but most of all it is tracking the adventure of a lifetime. Bookmark me and come along for the ride!