just had to post a pic of my beautiful children January 28, 2011 |
new beginnings January 13, 2011 |
I've discovered something interesting about life in Israel since becoming a mother. I've discovered that this is not the family-friendly society I thought it was - well, in the work world at least. In that environment I am persona non grata it seems. You see, here in the Holy Land prospective employers think it's totally acceptable to grill you on your marital and family status (all asked in the most innocent of enquiring tones of course). Being the unsuspecting novice, I answered honestly - although what else could I do really? - and surprise surprise, that's the last I ever hear from them.
The last interview I attended lasted for more than an hour and even included an impromptu second interview with the CEO, so I figured I stood a pretty good chance. Did I hear a thing? Nope, nada, zilch, klum.
Initially, I didn't even make the connection with having kids, I just thought I was having a run of bad luck and that the "right job" was just around the corner waiting for me. Still, the string of rejections was having a pretty pummelling effect on my self-esteem and it was only after talking to a number of friends that it dawned on me that perhaps it wasn't me at all, but more a case of the category that I now fell into.
The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. I thought about the last place I worked. Almost without exception they fired women immediately upon their return from maternity leave. Totally illegal, but they would keep them quiet by offering them a very attractive payout. So what's behind the anti-mother sentiment? (And it sure as hell doesn't apply to fathers! Men don't routinely get asked if they are married or have kids in job interviews) Well, employers figure, little kids get sick all the time, especially when they are in daycare, which means mummy will have to take lots of time off to look after said sick kiddies which means a loss of productivity, which means a loss of profit. Oooh crap, don't want to risk that. Better give this applicant the wide berth eh?
And then there is a whole other argument I found myself considering. Say for the sake of argument I did find myself a great job, with lovely family-friendly, pro-mummy co-workers who had no problem with me working flexible hours so I could leave early to pick my kids up from daycare. (Does that sound as fanciful as I think it does??!) Well, the shorter hours that mothers generally work means a rather significant cut in salary and after tax, cost of child care etc I would be lucky to clear about 2,000 shekels (about $450 Australian dollars) a month. Oh, and I'd get to spend about two hours a day with my children.
Sounds fabulous, doesn't it?
So, back to Square 1 it seemed. That is, until I received an email in my inbox a couple of weeks ago. It was from the woman who ran the childbirth preparation course Doron and I attended before Liev was born. She was now offering a course to train other people to become internationally certified Lamaze childbirth educators. Talk about a sign from up above!
The course is a 15 week program (1 full day of study a week) with a written exam at the end in order to qualify. Following that I will be able to start my own business and run courses for parents-to-be right here in Modi'in (and potentially other areas).
If someone had told me even three or four years ago that my career would take a turn like this I would have laughed. "What, me? A Lamaze instructor, are you insane?" But the amazing thing is, everyone I have told so far has responded with overwhelming enthusiasm. Without exception, people seem to think I was made for this field. As surprised as I have been by people's reactions (I fully expected at least a few, "what the's") I have also been so reassured that I am pursuing the right direction.
It's true what people say, having children changes you (whether you like it or not). It literally changes the person you are, or thought you were. It forces you to see the world in a totally different perspective and makes you realise what an awesome responsibility you have now.
Having children in Israel, without my family here was also challenging. It adds a whole other set of fears, anxieties and stresses that perhaps otherwise I wouldn't have experienced had I given birth in Australia.
Having experienced all this first hand - and having two children under the age of 2 - makes me think I might actually have a reasonable amount of wisdom to pass onto couples and women who are about to have their first baby. I also have a number of friends in Israel who are single mothers - both by choice and circumstance - and I thought that I would also love to offer a childbirth preparation course exclusively for single women. As far as I know, the only women-only courses here in Israel are for religious women. When a girlfriend of mine who was expecting her baby (conceived through an anonymous sperm donor) attended a course like this - precisely because she didn't want to feel miserable and lonely in a couples group - ended up hating her course and felt judged and uncomfortable which I think is just awful.
A single-mothers Lamaze course would also provide these mums-to-be with an instant support network and friendship circle so vital once baby has arrived.
I am truly so excited to embark upon this new chapter of my life. Through my despondent and depressing search for work, I stumbled upon an incredible opportunity which will allow me to both remain at home with my children while they are still so young and simultaneously pursue an exciting and challenging new career that I feel has the potential to open doors I never previously even imagined.
And so it seems that Solid Gold Dancing in the Holy Land is about to begin a new adventure and I look forward to sharing the journey with you.
The last interview I attended lasted for more than an hour and even included an impromptu second interview with the CEO, so I figured I stood a pretty good chance. Did I hear a thing? Nope, nada, zilch, klum.
Initially, I didn't even make the connection with having kids, I just thought I was having a run of bad luck and that the "right job" was just around the corner waiting for me. Still, the string of rejections was having a pretty pummelling effect on my self-esteem and it was only after talking to a number of friends that it dawned on me that perhaps it wasn't me at all, but more a case of the category that I now fell into.
The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. I thought about the last place I worked. Almost without exception they fired women immediately upon their return from maternity leave. Totally illegal, but they would keep them quiet by offering them a very attractive payout. So what's behind the anti-mother sentiment? (And it sure as hell doesn't apply to fathers! Men don't routinely get asked if they are married or have kids in job interviews) Well, employers figure, little kids get sick all the time, especially when they are in daycare, which means mummy will have to take lots of time off to look after said sick kiddies which means a loss of productivity, which means a loss of profit. Oooh crap, don't want to risk that. Better give this applicant the wide berth eh?
And then there is a whole other argument I found myself considering. Say for the sake of argument I did find myself a great job, with lovely family-friendly, pro-mummy co-workers who had no problem with me working flexible hours so I could leave early to pick my kids up from daycare. (Does that sound as fanciful as I think it does??!) Well, the shorter hours that mothers generally work means a rather significant cut in salary and after tax, cost of child care etc I would be lucky to clear about 2,000 shekels (about $450 Australian dollars) a month. Oh, and I'd get to spend about two hours a day with my children.
Sounds fabulous, doesn't it?
So, back to Square 1 it seemed. That is, until I received an email in my inbox a couple of weeks ago. It was from the woman who ran the childbirth preparation course Doron and I attended before Liev was born. She was now offering a course to train other people to become internationally certified Lamaze childbirth educators. Talk about a sign from up above!
The course is a 15 week program (1 full day of study a week) with a written exam at the end in order to qualify. Following that I will be able to start my own business and run courses for parents-to-be right here in Modi'in (and potentially other areas).
If someone had told me even three or four years ago that my career would take a turn like this I would have laughed. "What, me? A Lamaze instructor, are you insane?" But the amazing thing is, everyone I have told so far has responded with overwhelming enthusiasm. Without exception, people seem to think I was made for this field. As surprised as I have been by people's reactions (I fully expected at least a few, "what the's") I have also been so reassured that I am pursuing the right direction.
It's true what people say, having children changes you (whether you like it or not). It literally changes the person you are, or thought you were. It forces you to see the world in a totally different perspective and makes you realise what an awesome responsibility you have now.
Having children in Israel, without my family here was also challenging. It adds a whole other set of fears, anxieties and stresses that perhaps otherwise I wouldn't have experienced had I given birth in Australia.
Having experienced all this first hand - and having two children under the age of 2 - makes me think I might actually have a reasonable amount of wisdom to pass onto couples and women who are about to have their first baby. I also have a number of friends in Israel who are single mothers - both by choice and circumstance - and I thought that I would also love to offer a childbirth preparation course exclusively for single women. As far as I know, the only women-only courses here in Israel are for religious women. When a girlfriend of mine who was expecting her baby (conceived through an anonymous sperm donor) attended a course like this - precisely because she didn't want to feel miserable and lonely in a couples group - ended up hating her course and felt judged and uncomfortable which I think is just awful.
A single-mothers Lamaze course would also provide these mums-to-be with an instant support network and friendship circle so vital once baby has arrived.
I am truly so excited to embark upon this new chapter of my life. Through my despondent and depressing search for work, I stumbled upon an incredible opportunity which will allow me to both remain at home with my children while they are still so young and simultaneously pursue an exciting and challenging new career that I feel has the potential to open doors I never previously even imagined.
And so it seems that Solid Gold Dancing in the Holy Land is about to begin a new adventure and I look forward to sharing the journey with you.